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Pub Landlord too chubby for planned parachute jump

Pub Landlord photo by FUKP2 Avalon and Pete Dadds

Pub Landlord photo by FUKP2 Avalon and Pete Dadds

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A PLANNED parachute jump in Kent by Pub Landlord Al Murray has been ditched – because he weighs too much.

The South Thanet general election candidate was due to drop into Headcorn Aerodrome near Ashford tomorrow morning (Friday), before travelling to The New Inn in Sandwich to address constituents.

But the FKUP (Free United Kingdom Party) candidate was told he was too weighty to make the jump.

The comedian said: “Unfortunately today’s stunt – and that is exactly what it is, regardless of the publicity it might generate, a stunt – has had to be cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

It seems that I am too heavy to jump. It’s a double whammy.

“Not only am I yet another tragic victim of this country’s obesity epidemic but also my life is being held back by health and safety gone mad.

Gone are the days that a British citizen could throw themselves out of a plane regardless of the risk. Is this the country we want to live in? God help us if the Germans try again.

“But there’s more. I was weighed on metric scales. Scales that prove conclusively the dead hand of Brussels on the British way of life. I think we have taken our relationship with Europe to a level that frankly has gone against Common Sense and certainly against self-interest.

I vow if I ever get into power I will do all I can to remove much of the health and safety legislation that is holding this country back.

I hope however that this settles once and for all the issue of whether I am a political heavyweight.”

Murray is currently contesting the seat against no fewer than 10 candidates, including Will Scobie, Labour, Craig Mackinlay, Conservative, Russ Timpson, Lib Dem and Ukip leader Nigel Farage.

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