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No fat lips, just fat heads…

Russel Brand, left, Question Time panel at the Gulbenkian, Canterbury, and Nigel Farage, right

After Niqel Farage’s clash with Russell Brand in Canterbury, 62% of Kent Online readers ranked the Ukip leader the best of the panelists in an internet poll. Here, Gazette columnist Harry Bell gives his take on who emerged victorious

Don King, HBO and MGM Grand present… live from the heart of Las Vegas. Nevada in the red corner Russell “I’ve slept with your granddaughter” Brand, and in the blue corner Nigel “Fags” Farage. Leeeetttts get readyyyy to ruuumble!!

Well, not quite. We had been told to expect two heavyweights trading blows in the combat arena, blood spattering over the ringside observers, two proud men emerging with fat lips and eyebrow cute. Instead, what we got was Gallath grinding a political pygmy into the ground. Farage – who portrayed himself as a restrained, sensible and hard-boiled pragmatist – wiped the floor with the oafish nullionaire plastic revolutionary, whose inane blithering reinforced everything those blessed with common sense think of him. His single biggest contribution to mankind is leaving obscene messages on the answerphone of Andrew Sacha, the actor who played Manuel in Faulty Towers, boasting that he bad slept with his granddaughter.

What of the other panellists? Penny Mordaunt, the Conservative, was a complete letdown. Having appeared in a racy blue swimming costume in reality TV diving show Splashi we were all sitting there thinking “Get your policies out for the lads!” Instead, what warbled was dreary, inconsequential, trite. Mary Creagh, Labour’s shadow secretary for International development, wasn’t given a 1 decent enough chance – although she did provide the best contribution in telling Brand not to interrupt the other speakers. Oooh, you should have see Russell’s face.

Russell Brand muses over a question
Russell Brand muses over a question

The man who brags of treating women as sex objects being brought to heel by one of them. He didn’t like that. Creagh also roughed Nigey up when she accused him being of no better than the Tory and Labour career politicians he routinely traduces. He didn’t like that. The Lib Dems, the  junior party of the governing coalition, were represented by.. .erm… no one. The views of Times columnist Camilla Cavendish were deemed more important. Clever and cool, you couldn’t help but like Cammy. Mind you, the Lib Dems only have one serious politician left in the country — Danny Alexander – and he too busy with the real work of government. The audience was surprising. given that there didn’t appear to be anyone of note from Canterbury there. Chairman David Dimbloby gave the floor to a bloke in his 50s dressed as if he was a hipster in his early 20s. He looked like he had been imported from east London, even resembling those two brothers who are selling bowls of cereal in deprived Hoxton for £3.20.

The worst point of the evening was the horrid, menacing, disgusting outburst by the socialist harridan Bunny La Roche. “I’m coming for you,” she squawked at Farage. It totally disfigured what was otherwise a decent show.

Herne Bay Gazette, December 18th 2014


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